i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
