I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
