it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
