You're so nebulous sometimes
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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