whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
