I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
