Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
