also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
