I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We need to get me chipped asap
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
