ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
