i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
