Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize