went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
