walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
