friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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