Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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