Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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