As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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