I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
