getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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