i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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