garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
need another drink. this is the easiest way
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
