You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hippo gnu deer
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
