You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
