i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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