My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
