Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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