the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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