my mouth tastes like poor choices
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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