Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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