i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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