he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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