She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
