Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
