i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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