they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she peed on how many people?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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