i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
