Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
