I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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