I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
