it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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