It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
