What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
