i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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