Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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