I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
