My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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