I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
