You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
