i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
