i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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