After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
