ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I didn't shave. On purpose
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
