My hair reeks of homosexuality.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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