no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Damn victory sex feels great
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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