Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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