have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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