i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
