Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
