Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
