Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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