I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
